5303 – 446 – 2016-08-30

I think I feel that because I have had to work very hard in my jobs and have had to struggle most of my life; add in huge material losses due to unfairness of others, that on some level I “deserve” to treat myself. I have been discontented and selfish and acted spoiled, relying on myself to fill that gap with things and not truly putting my trust in God for everything. It is ironic that I have had more than one occasion when I “down-and-out” when no person could help me and I could only turn to God.